PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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