Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
