So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
