We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
