oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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