But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
