The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
