So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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