i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
