your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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