I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
this is an emotional support booty call
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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