the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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