First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
