I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
