At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
