I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
