There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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