I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
