Sponge bath it is.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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