He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize