Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
