are you still at the devil's house?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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