Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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