i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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