dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
