So drunk its hurt
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize