Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
