i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
