She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
