If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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