I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
