I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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