I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
