What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
