I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
