I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
