My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
