While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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