I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
