Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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