mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize