She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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