I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize