so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
