I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
