so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
