it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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