The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Randomize
