I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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