Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
