This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize