So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
