What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
