I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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