If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
