You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
