Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are the jesus of drinking
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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