we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
